You know you should write your will. Your family have been on at you for an age to get around to it. But somehow it just keeps getting pushed to the bottom of the pile. There’s always something nicer or more obviously pressing to think about, isn’t there? And let’s be honest, who wants to think about their impending doom?

But do we really spend time talking about your death in a will meeting? Actually, really, no.

Of course its not unusual for clients to be concerned that the grim reaper will be hanging spectrally in the corner of the room as we chat, and I’d be lying if I said there aren’t a few difficult questions I will ask you. But the truth is we don’t really talk about death.

When writing your will what you need to think about is everything that comes after.

What happens to your estate after you’ve passed away? Who will inherit your assets if you pass without a valid will in place? When? And how? And what can we put in a will to make sure that who you want to inherit will do so when and how you want it to happen.

I generally find that, much to many client’s surprise, what we talk about in our meetings is life. We talk about our children, our parents, our siblings and friends, the lives we’ve built together and the lives we want them to have. My clients share stories with me, often deeply intimate and usually told with a smile on their faces. Why does a certain child want a particular piece of jewellery? Why would you want them to inherit at that particular age? Because don’t you remember that time when…. Because I’d like them to be able to do this… Because I know they’d want to do that…..

Good estate planning is problem solving, but one family’s problem is another family’s non-issue. You won’t be asked questions about your death itself, but you should be asked a lot of questions and to consider a lot of different scenarios to identify what really worries you about your family inheriting (are you worried about inheritance tax? Do you actually need to worry about inheritance tax? Are you worried you’ll pass before a parent who is now living with you and they’ll be left unable to afford the home you share? Are you worried about one of your children’s relationships?). I think of these as your pain points, and good estate planning is pain relief.

And relief is what client’s always feel at the end of this process. ‘Thank goodness we’ve dealt with that.’ ‘It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.’ ‘I’m so glad we’ve got this sorted now.’

I don’t really talk about your death because, the sad truth is, I can’t do anything about that. But I can improve what comes next for your family. And lets be honest, the truth about estate planning is it’s not actually about you.